I officially have gained the "freshman 30". Except that I'm not in college :(. In my first year back to work full-time, I have put on that much weight. Ugh.
So, today's the day. I have made the decision to never see that number on the scale again. No, that doesn't mean that I'm going to close my eyes when I weigh myself. It means that I'm changing my ways. And I mean it this time.
I've struggled with my weight all of my adult life. Sometimes, I've fought really hard. Sometimes, I've given up. But, I'm inspired by some of my friends and acquaintances who have lost a serious amount of weight. I know that I'm not like them and that I have challenges unique to me in losing weight. I *know* I need support, guidance, and advice. I welcome it all.
My goal is not a number on the scale. It's a feeling. It's a vision. I'll get there when I get there, but I have made the decision to work at it every day. No matter what.
Today's the day.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
It's that simple
Simplify. Oh my, do I need to do that! Since I started working 40+ hours a week outside the house again, my home life has become anything but simple. It seems like I can't stay organized and on top of things no matter how hard I try. Scheduled appointments are remembered last minute, laundry piles up, important papers are lost, and cleaning the house...forget about it. With all of the able bodies here in the house, everyone seems to have a "scheduling" conflict that keeps them from pitching in. "I'll get to it tomorrow night, " I say to myself. And then...
It seems like I am constantly behind the ball.
This isn't the first time I've had a full-time job outside of the house. How did we manage before? I honestly don't remember.
Earlier this week, while feeling a little overwhelmed and a bit defeated, I started to look for things to do for Lent. I've always tried to do something that would bring a sense of peace and discipline to an aspect of my life. I was cruising through facebook when I came across a post about this article. While I thought all of ideas were good and things that people who love each other should do anyway, the last suggestion struck me as the answer to my Lenten prayer. "Simplify you life. Clean out a drawer, closet, or other storage area each day during Lent...". Make a place for everything and put everything in its place. But, do it one at a time and it will be easier to stay on top of it. Oh, to one day feel organized and not crazy... It's that simple.
Last night, I cleaned off the top of my bedroom dresser. Tonight, I'm going to clean under the dresser. 39 days from now, will I feel like I'm actually taking care of my family instead of trying to catch up with them? That's my Lenten prayer.
It seems like I am constantly behind the ball.
This isn't the first time I've had a full-time job outside of the house. How did we manage before? I honestly don't remember.
Earlier this week, while feeling a little overwhelmed and a bit defeated, I started to look for things to do for Lent. I've always tried to do something that would bring a sense of peace and discipline to an aspect of my life. I was cruising through facebook when I came across a post about this article. While I thought all of ideas were good and things that people who love each other should do anyway, the last suggestion struck me as the answer to my Lenten prayer. "Simplify you life. Clean out a drawer, closet, or other storage area each day during Lent...". Make a place for everything and put everything in its place. But, do it one at a time and it will be easier to stay on top of it. Oh, to one day feel organized and not crazy... It's that simple.
Last night, I cleaned off the top of my bedroom dresser. Tonight, I'm going to clean under the dresser. 39 days from now, will I feel like I'm actually taking care of my family instead of trying to catch up with them? That's my Lenten prayer.
Monday, September 26, 2011
What's your legacy?
Yesterday, I attended a memorial service for a friend/colleague/mentor/supporter, in essence a wonderful woman. She was 57 when she succumbed to cancer. Too young.
Her memorial service was unlike any other I've attended. It was truly a celebration. It was held in an art gallery, celebrating her love of fine art. A youth choir performed, celebrating her love of music. Young women from a local arts school performed an interpretive dance, celebrating her love of watching kids express themselves through dance. The room was full of people sharing stories, talking about the last time they saw her, how they found out, that they couldn't believe she was gone. They laughed, talked, networked. She wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Her son spoke about her last months, looked at each of us, and said that because she touched each of our lives, she lives on through us. That meant that we are his mother now. Oh sure, tears fell at that point, but there was also a call to responsibility. We are what she left behind to carry on her passions, her beliefs, her work. We are her legacy.
Who or what is your legacy? For whom are you the legacy?
Update: Still at 20 pounds give or take a couple. Still have high blood pressure, but hopefully, a check on Thursday will show I'm back to normal.
Her memorial service was unlike any other I've attended. It was truly a celebration. It was held in an art gallery, celebrating her love of fine art. A youth choir performed, celebrating her love of music. Young women from a local arts school performed an interpretive dance, celebrating her love of watching kids express themselves through dance. The room was full of people sharing stories, talking about the last time they saw her, how they found out, that they couldn't believe she was gone. They laughed, talked, networked. She wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Her son spoke about her last months, looked at each of us, and said that because she touched each of our lives, she lives on through us. That meant that we are his mother now. Oh sure, tears fell at that point, but there was also a call to responsibility. We are what she left behind to carry on her passions, her beliefs, her work. We are her legacy.
Who or what is your legacy? For whom are you the legacy?
Update: Still at 20 pounds give or take a couple. Still have high blood pressure, but hopefully, a check on Thursday will show I'm back to normal.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Happy birthday to me
"Another year has passed me by. Still I look at myself and sigh. What kind of man have I become?"
In less than four hours, I will be another year older. More often, birthdays are contemplative times for me. My conscience compels me to examine where I am, who I am, and what I'm doing on a much deeper level than I normally do.
I made a HUGE lifestyle change three years ago. I left my well-paying career, quit smoking, and sacrificed my pursuit of luxury in order to be an "at-home-mom" and become a more faceted person. I wanted the richness in my life to be represented by family, friendship, love, community and spirit.
No, it hasn't been easy and, no matter how detailed the plan, things have not always worked out the way I thought they would.
But, my children know that I love them, not because I buy them something every time we go into a store. They know I love them because I am there for them. Every minute. Every day. And they show me that's important to them. I wouldn't trade that for all the money in the world.
I think this year, I'm giving myself a solid B.
Oh by the way, I have not resumed my "faster than a speeding bullet" weight loss medication. Still have high blood pressure. However, I lost an additional five pounds which brings me to 20 in six weeks.
"Live long and prosper. Peace and long life."
In less than four hours, I will be another year older. More often, birthdays are contemplative times for me. My conscience compels me to examine where I am, who I am, and what I'm doing on a much deeper level than I normally do.
I made a HUGE lifestyle change three years ago. I left my well-paying career, quit smoking, and sacrificed my pursuit of luxury in order to be an "at-home-mom" and become a more faceted person. I wanted the richness in my life to be represented by family, friendship, love, community and spirit.
No, it hasn't been easy and, no matter how detailed the plan, things have not always worked out the way I thought they would.
But, my children know that I love them, not because I buy them something every time we go into a store. They know I love them because I am there for them. Every minute. Every day. And they show me that's important to them. I wouldn't trade that for all the money in the world.
I think this year, I'm giving myself a solid B.
Oh by the way, I have not resumed my "faster than a speeding bullet" weight loss medication. Still have high blood pressure. However, I lost an additional five pounds which brings me to 20 in six weeks.
"Live long and prosper. Peace and long life."
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Anyone Can Cook
I have only made soup twice using someone else's recipe and failed miserably at it. I've never made a broth based soup. Yet, I really had a taste for Chicken Tortilla Soup and was determined to make it. Sans the tortilla. I found a recipe on line and (greatly) adapted it using only the ingredients I like.
The result? A surprisingly (for me) delicious chicken & rice soup loaded with "south of the border" flavor and heat.
Below is the recipe for my Mexican Chicken & Rice Soup. I used a slow cooker.
Ingredients:
1/2 lb shredded grilled chicken
1 can Ro*tel diced tomatoes with green chilies
32 oz all-natural chicken stock (I used Rachel Ray Stock-In-A-Box)
2 cups water
1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
1/2 yellow bell pepper, chopped
2 scallions, chopped
1 cup uncooked white rice
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
Place all ingredients in a slow cooker. Cover and cook on Low for 6-7 hours.
Enjoy!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
That's what Moms are for
"It was like coming this close to your dreams, and then watching them brush past you like a stranger in a crowd."
Admittedly, the past couple of days have been pretty tough. After 15+ years of trying to lose weight, only to gain, I had hope that my ship had come in. I had a plan to lose the weight and was doing it. It felt fantastic! I began to dream about being a size 10 again and it was as real as it could be. But, that ship has sailed.
To be sure, I'd consider myself pretty vain if that was the ONLY thing that has me distressed. It's not. It's the latest in a LONG line of recent things to which I've given 150% of my effort and attention, only to result in something much less than what I had hoped.
"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." Indeed, it can.
However, my mom did the thing that all good moms do. She dragged my butt to the gym. We talked to her personal trainer and learned about some different types of foods and eating plans, and then she drove me to Au Naturel Market in Valparaiso. We purchased some of the things the trainer recommended, like low-calorie gluten-free Pop Chips, gluten-free cereal and quinoa flour.
She also convinced me that I need to cook for myself. That in itself is enough to make me not want to eat, but it makes sense. My husband (who is THE cook in the family) can still prepare menus and meals for himself and the kids, but I will have control over what and how much is on my plate. And he won't need to cook twice. Tomorrow, I'm making chicken soup.
And, in two weeks, after I deal with this high-blood pressure thing, I'll talk with my doctor again. Maybe we reduce the dosage, maybe we'll try something different, maybe that's all there was to begin with.
In the meantime, I'm going to listen to Mom and do something I've never done before. I'm going to learn how to cook for myself.
Wish me luck!
Admittedly, the past couple of days have been pretty tough. After 15+ years of trying to lose weight, only to gain, I had hope that my ship had come in. I had a plan to lose the weight and was doing it. It felt fantastic! I began to dream about being a size 10 again and it was as real as it could be. But, that ship has sailed.
To be sure, I'd consider myself pretty vain if that was the ONLY thing that has me distressed. It's not. It's the latest in a LONG line of recent things to which I've given 150% of my effort and attention, only to result in something much less than what I had hoped.
"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." Indeed, it can.
However, my mom did the thing that all good moms do. She dragged my butt to the gym. We talked to her personal trainer and learned about some different types of foods and eating plans, and then she drove me to Au Naturel Market in Valparaiso. We purchased some of the things the trainer recommended, like low-calorie gluten-free Pop Chips, gluten-free cereal and quinoa flour.
She also convinced me that I need to cook for myself. That in itself is enough to make me not want to eat, but it makes sense. My husband (who is THE cook in the family) can still prepare menus and meals for himself and the kids, but I will have control over what and how much is on my plate. And he won't need to cook twice. Tomorrow, I'm making chicken soup.
And, in two weeks, after I deal with this high-blood pressure thing, I'll talk with my doctor again. Maybe we reduce the dosage, maybe we'll try something different, maybe that's all there was to begin with.
In the meantime, I'm going to listen to Mom and do something I've never done before. I'm going to learn how to cook for myself.
Wish me luck!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
It's not fair
I lost 15 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. Yep. 15 pounds. When I crossed the 10 pound mark, I knew that I was finally going to do it. I found the thing that works! I was finally going to lose the weight!
I've been trying to lose the weight my entire adult life. Weight Watchers. Jenny Craig. Richard Simmons. Total Body Makeover. Atkins. Exercise DVDs. Yoga. Health club memberships. Walking. Eating less. Drinking water. Nothing I did took off the weight.
Finally, I decided to work with a doctor and was seeing amazing results. I had hope!
Now, I have high blood pressure. One of the things I was trying to avoid by losing the weight. Ironic, isn't it? It's one of the side effects of the medication. And now I can't take it.
I did this to live longer, to be healthier, to be pretty again. It's not fair. It's just not fair.
Honey, where are the brownies?
I've been trying to lose the weight my entire adult life. Weight Watchers. Jenny Craig. Richard Simmons. Total Body Makeover. Atkins. Exercise DVDs. Yoga. Health club memberships. Walking. Eating less. Drinking water. Nothing I did took off the weight.
Finally, I decided to work with a doctor and was seeing amazing results. I had hope!
Now, I have high blood pressure. One of the things I was trying to avoid by losing the weight. Ironic, isn't it? It's one of the side effects of the medication. And now I can't take it.
I did this to live longer, to be healthier, to be pretty again. It's not fair. It's just not fair.
Honey, where are the brownies?
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