The right mindset

Last week, I started a prescription weight loss medication.  I used this same medication last summer and lost almost 20 pounds in four weeks. But, I developed high blood pressure, so I stopped the medication. With that in mind, my doctor and I are proceeding carefully, but the fact of the matter is, I've gained 30 pounds since February and it (and more) needs to come off.

As my doctor and I were talking about going back on the medication, I told her about the stress factors in my life right now. She asked if I thought this was a good time to try to lose weight, which I thought was a strange question.  Of course, it is! When I lose weight, that will be a positive factor in my life which I need to help lessen the intensity of the negative. She said that you have to have the right mindset to lose weight.

Now, I'm beginning to see what she meant. I expected the pounds to melt off like last time, but, although I'm consuming less than 1,000 calories a day, the needle on the scale barely moved this week. How can that be?!  What mysterious metabolic disease do I have?! Oooh, maybe it's something new and I'll have a disease named after me!

I read this article and it all began to make sense to me. In it, the author says "When your body releases an excess of cortisol, this interferes with your metabolic processes. The release of stress hormones has been linked with a slowing down of the metabolism. So when you are dealing with a lot of stress, you may be eating the same amount of food as before but not burning off as many calories as you used to." That's me to a tee.  Even the "wonder drug" can't help me lose weight if I'm dealing (or not dealing) with stress.

So, that's the key to the weight loss treasure chest.  Changing my mindset will change my body.

Next stop...my happy place.

Today's lesson is about--time out!

Being healthy is not a low number on the scale in the morning. That is a result of (hopefully) being healthy in the body, mind and spirit.  If one, two or all three are out of balance, there's trouble.

This week, I've had to unexpectedly deal with all sorts of  imbalance, my own and others.  It's been coming at me from all directions. And it's been tough. It's tough because the daily management of deadlines at work and schedules for the family suddenly go from being a well-laid out plan to being items of which I have to prioritize and choose which ones get accomplished and which don't.  Add a killer migraine, achy body and  very sore throat and compounded by the weight the imbalances bring and, man, I have one heck of a country song on my hands.

We've all been there.  Especially if we're parents. As moms and dads, we strive to maintain balance and harmony in our families to keep them physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy.  When that balance is off, we feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders.  We put forth super-human effort to fix what's broken and restore balance. And it's tough.

One of the hardest things to do during stressful times is to take care of yourself.  Do something that makes you happy and brings a physical, emotional and/or spiritual respite, however brief, from the battle. Take a break from the stress and make some "You" time. In this article about the importance of having quality time, the author validates that "Taking time off for yourself allows you to renew and rejuvenate. You will emerge with more vigor and energy to face every day’s chaos."  For me, my "me time" this week is daily trips to Dunkin Donuts for their Sausage Wake Up Wrap and a small coffee.  The wrap is only 290 calories and it makes me feel like I'm starting out the day doing something special for myself.  I'm also taking a couple of days off of work, even though there is a project on my desk waiting to be finished. And that's okay.

And I've been praying. A lot.

Do for you so you can do for others. Restore your own well-being so you can be the help others need to restore theirs.  It's important to make time for *you*. 

Seriously?

I am totally in love with my husband and am grateful for everything that he does for me.  But seriously!  How am I supposed to lose weight when he makes a huge batch of oatmeal raisin walnut chocolate/peanut butter chip pieces of heaven?!

I guess the oatmeal and raisins are healthy, right?

Decision Day (and this time, I mean it!)

I officially have gained the "freshman 30".  Except that I'm not in college :(.  In my first year back to work full-time, I have put on that much weight. Ugh. 

So, today's the day. I have made the decision to never see that number on the scale again.  No, that doesn't mean that I'm going to close my eyes when I weigh myself.  It means that I'm changing my ways. And I mean it this time.

I've struggled with my weight all of my adult life. Sometimes, I've fought really hard. Sometimes, I've given up. But, I'm inspired by some of my friends and acquaintances who have lost a serious amount of weight. I know that I'm not like them and that I have challenges unique to me in losing weight.  I *know* I need support, guidance, and advice. I welcome it all.

My goal is not a number on the scale.  It's a feeling.  It's a vision. I'll get there when I get there, but I have made the decision to work at it every day. No matter what.

Today's the day.

It's that simple

Simplify. Oh my, do I need to do that! Since I started working 40+ hours a week outside the house again, my home life has become anything but simple. It seems like I can't stay organized and on top of things no matter how hard I try. Scheduled appointments are remembered last minute, laundry piles up, important papers are lost, and cleaning the house...forget about it. With all of the able bodies here in the house, everyone seems to have a "scheduling" conflict that keeps them from pitching in. "I'll get to it tomorrow night, " I say to myself. And then...

It seems like I am constantly behind the ball.

This isn't the first time I've had a full-time job outside of the house. How did we manage before? I honestly don't remember.

Earlier this week, while feeling a little overwhelmed and a bit defeated, I started to look for things to do for Lent. I've always tried to do something that would bring a sense of peace and discipline to an aspect of my life. I was cruising through facebook when I came across a post about this article. While I thought all of ideas were good and things that people who love each other should do anyway, the last suggestion struck me as the answer to my Lenten prayer. "Simplify you life. Clean out a drawer, closet, or other storage area each day during Lent...". Make a place for everything and put everything in its place. But, do it one at a time and it will be easier to stay on top of it. Oh, to one day feel organized and not crazy... It's that simple.

Last night, I cleaned off the top of my bedroom dresser. Tonight, I'm going to clean under the dresser. 39 days from now, will I feel like I'm actually taking care of my family instead of trying to catch up with them? That's my Lenten prayer.

What's your legacy?

Yesterday, I attended a memorial service for a friend/colleague/mentor/supporter, in essence a wonderful woman. She was 57 when she succumbed to cancer. Too young.

Her memorial service was unlike any other I've attended. It was truly a celebration. It was held in an art gallery, celebrating her love of fine art. A youth choir performed, celebrating her love of music. Young women from a local arts school performed an interpretive dance, celebrating her love of watching kids express themselves through dance. The room was full of people sharing stories, talking about the last time they saw her, how they found out, that they couldn't believe she was gone. They laughed, talked, networked. She wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Her son spoke about her last months, looked at each of us, and said that because she touched each of our lives, she lives on through us. That meant that we are his mother now. Oh sure, tears fell at that point, but there was also a call to responsibility. We are what she left behind to carry on her passions, her beliefs, her work. We are her legacy.

Who or what is your legacy? For whom are you the legacy?

Update: Still at 20 pounds give or take a couple. Still have high blood pressure, but hopefully, a check on Thursday will show I'm back to normal.

Happy birthday to me

"Another year has passed me by. Still I look at myself and sigh. What kind of man have I become?"

In less than four hours, I will be another year older. More often, birthdays are contemplative times for me. My conscience compels me to examine where I am, who I am, and what I'm doing on a much deeper level than I normally do.

I made a HUGE lifestyle change three years ago. I left my well-paying career, quit smoking, and sacrificed my pursuit of luxury in order to be an "at-home-mom" and become a more faceted person. I wanted the richness in my life to be represented by family, friendship, love, community and spirit.

No, it hasn't been easy and, no matter how detailed the plan, things have not always worked out the way I thought they would.

But, my children know that I love them, not because I buy them something every time we go into a store. They know I love them because I am there for them. Every minute. Every day. And they show me that's important to them. I wouldn't trade that for all the money in the world.

I think this year, I'm giving myself a solid B.

Oh by the way, I have not resumed my "faster than a speeding bullet" weight loss medication. Still have high blood pressure. However, I lost an additional five pounds which brings me to 20 in six weeks.

"Live long and prosper. Peace and long life."