Playing hot potato

Remember "hot potato"?  You and a group of friends would pass a ball or a rock around the circle. When the music stopped, the person with the "potato" was out. The game would continue until there were just two of you and you would feverishly pass the potato back and forth. You. Her. You. Her. You. Her. Two pounds off. Two pounds on. Off. On. Off. On...

That's where I've been since before Christmas; playing hot potato with the same two pounds. ugh.


It seems like I'm doing all that I should be. I'm staying under 1,200 calories a day, drinking lots of water (I haven't had a Diet Pepsi in ages) and taking my medicine the right way every day.  But, apparently, I've hit a wall.  I can't eat less. So, I've decided to try the thing I dread...exercise.

My Little Minion is a very overweight eight year old.  Like me, he has a slow metabolism.  He eats well and is as active as a normal eight year old boy, but "normal" doesn't work with our bodies. He has said repeatedly that he wants to run like his dad (who's a marathon runner) and I need a fitness buddy who is near the same exercise capacity as me. Hmm. Spending time with my son, doing something together that's good for us. Ding, ding!  We have a winner!

There is a fabulous running store in Valparaiso called Extra Mile Fitness.  They are putting on 5k and 1/2 marathon training programs this spring. Group runs are on Tuesday nights and Saturday mornings. Best of all, Little Minion can train with me!  I'm going to the call out meeting on the 23rd to find out more.  In the event that the runs conflict with his soccer games (also on Tuesday nights and Saturday mornings), we'll train on our own.  I found a highly rated Couch to 5K app for the iPhone called "Get Running".  It's $2.99 and tracks all sorts of data. It acts like a personal trainer, giving you alerts on when to run/walk during your runs. Plus, Marathon Man gave my first pair of REAL running shoes for Christmas, so I really don't have any more excuses.

I'm still determined to lose 65 pounds this year and keep it off for the rest of my life.

If I can just stop playing hot potato...

Closing the door

For the first month of my new weight loss quest, I'm happy to report I lost 12 pounds.  Not too shabby.  Unfortunately, I didn't lose any weight this past week due to being sick and in bed most of the time.

The bigger news is that I'm finally coming to terms with a broken relationship. It's been a particularly long and difficult road and the stress from it is one of the reasons attributing to my weight gain this year.  For reasons I still do not (and will never) know, a very close relative of mine decided I was no longer to be a part of his life and he stopped talking to me.  Now, one of my strengths is self-accountability. I'm pretty aware when I've done something wrong and I'm the first to admit it.  For many months, I have been soul-searching for reasons to explain what I could have done to justify this person's estrangement from me.  And I come up with nothing. Nothing. I can't find any fault of mine that would cause this action from him.  Which logically means, that it's not me.  For whatever reason that I cannot explain, he just decided that he didn't want to love and accept me any more.  That's been hard. It's been hard to forgive, because there's no remorse.  It's been hard to accept that this is the way it will be, because I'm a hopeful person.  But, it's time to close the door. I can't continue to feel bad about something I didn't do.

I know I'm a good person. I love to feel loved and to express love. That's all I've ever wanted to do. I am surrounded by good people who love me. People who respect and accept me. And I'm holding on to that.

With all my might.