That's what Moms are for

"It was like coming this close to your dreams, and then watching them brush past you like a stranger in a crowd."

Admittedly, the past couple of days have been pretty tough. After 15+ years of trying to lose weight, only to gain, I had hope that my ship had come in. I had a plan to lose the weight and was doing it. It felt fantastic! I began to dream about being a size 10 again and it was as real as it could be. But, that ship has sailed.

To be sure, I'd consider myself pretty vain if that was the ONLY thing that has me distressed. It's not. It's the latest in a LONG line of recent things to which I've given 150% of my effort and attention, only to result in something much less than what I had hoped.

"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." Indeed, it can.

However, my mom did the thing that all good moms do. She dragged my butt to the gym. We talked to her personal trainer and learned about some different types of foods and eating plans, and then she drove me to Au Naturel Market in Valparaiso. We purchased some of the things the trainer recommended, like low-calorie gluten-free Pop Chips, gluten-free cereal and quinoa flour.

She also convinced me that I need to cook for myself. That in itself is enough to make me not want to eat, but it makes sense. My husband (who is THE cook in the family) can still prepare menus and meals for himself and the kids, but I will have control over what and how much is on my plate. And he won't need to cook twice. Tomorrow, I'm making chicken soup.

And, in two weeks, after I deal with this high-blood pressure thing, I'll talk with my doctor again. Maybe we reduce the dosage, maybe we'll try something different, maybe that's all there was to begin with.

In the meantime, I'm going to listen to Mom and do something I've never done before. I'm going to learn how to cook for myself.

Wish me luck!

It's not fair

I lost 15 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. Yep. 15 pounds. When I crossed the 10 pound mark, I knew that I was finally going to do it. I found the thing that works! I was finally going to lose the weight!

I've been trying to lose the weight my entire adult life. Weight Watchers. Jenny Craig. Richard Simmons. Total Body Makeover. Atkins. Exercise DVDs. Yoga. Health club memberships. Walking. Eating less. Drinking water. Nothing I did took off the weight.

Finally, I decided to work with a doctor and was seeing amazing results. I had hope!

Now, I have high blood pressure. One of the things I was trying to avoid by losing the weight. Ironic, isn't it? It's one of the side effects of the medication. And now I can't take it.

I did this to live longer, to be healthier, to be pretty again. It's not fair. It's just not fair.

Honey, where are the brownies?

Whatever works

I love getting on the scale this week. I'm a fanatic. I weigh myself at least once a day, because I can't believe what I see! I lost 7 pounds. 7 pounds in 7 days!

I am hardly ever hungry and when I am, I eat about 1/4 of what I used to. I'm staying away from sweets, no matter how often hubs offers me a chocolate turtle or M&Ms. (Still not sure who's side he's on.) I'm drinking a lot of water and I exercised 4 times this week. I must admit, my little helper is making a big difference.

93 pounds to go.

Whatever works.

My family's heart disease helped! Who knew?!

About a month ago, I attended a Women's Forum, hosted by the Porter County Community Foundation. The Forum was health-centric and our local hospital provided free screenings for blood pressure, cholesterol, bone density, etc. Since I never go to the doctor for anything other than pregnancy, I thought "why not do the screenings? As long as I'm here." Now, I have been overweight my entire adult life, the gene pool on both sides of my family includes chronic heart disease and I'm a former smoker. I had a pretty strong feeling that my ticker and things associated with it were not in the best of shape. It turns out that I was wrong! My initial screenings were so good that the next day I had a whole blood screening done. And that one was good too! So, my heart is in good shape...for now. What can I do to keep it that way? Lose the weight!!! I am healthy and want to stay that way. I need help. I need a DOCTOR.

Prior to my appointment, I did a little research on weight loss medications. I'm not really a fan of taking medication for myself. I would rather employ proven natural or herbal treatments for anything. I barely take aspirin for a headache. But, in this case, I know what I have done and I know it hasn't worked. The articles I read stated that weight-loss medication is prescribed for individuals who are clinically obese AND have a serious health problem like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. That's not me. I'm just overweight.

Prepared for the usual "let's do some blood work, but all you really need to do is burn more calories that you consume", I sat down and started talking to the doctor. She really surprised me. She listened, which is practically a first. She also took my family's heart history very seriously, that's also a first. And because of the family's heart issues, she recommended and prescribed a weight-loss medication for me. YAY!!! I finally have help! I am so excited!!!!

My long-term goal is to lose and keep off 100 pounds. My short-term goal is to lose enough weight that I can comfortably sit in an airplane seat for a trip I hope to take in February.

Got a lo-cal Diet? check. Got Exercise? check. Got Mama's little helper? CHECK!

Let's lose it!

THE DOCTOR

So, the last time I wrote a post for this blog was January 3rd. I'm proud to say that with the help of the calorie tracker on livestrong.com, I lost 10 pounds in January. And that's it. 10 pounds. 10 pounds that I promptly gained back. I haven't lost another ounce all year.

Not to say that I haven't tried. I have a part-time job that keeps me outside walking in all kinds of weather two-three times a week. I walk at least a couple of miles a day doing that. And, I exercise at the health club two to three times a week on top of it. I barely drink coffee and pop. I rarely eat fast food and my sweet consumption is moderate at best. I can't remember the last time I ate something that was fried. My eating and exercise habits are better than ever. I should be losing weight left and right. And yet, the dial on the scale doesn't move.

So what's the problem? Don't know, maybe nothing more than I need to do something differently. What I do know is that it's time to seek professional answers. I need to lose at least 80 pounds and "diet & exercise" alone isn't cutting it. I'm going to THE DOCTOR next week. This is a big deal, because I don't go to THE DOCTOR. I've lived here almost six years and I don't have a DOCTOR. In fact, I haven't had a DOCTOR since I was a kid. My kids, yes. My husband, certainly. Me, nope. Never sick. Wait, I did go to urgent care five years ago because I had sinus infection that lasted a month. But, other than that...

I hope that THE DOCTOR will prescribe a new miracle drug that will instantly melt away the pounds returning me to my pre-wedded hotness. It could happen...right?

The scale lies

Well, one of the scales does!

I bought a new scale today. It's an old-fashioned dial scale. We had a digital scale for a long time, but for the last few years, I haven't been all that confident in its readings. Based on other scales I've tried, I was pretty sure that the digital scale was around 8 pounds off. So, I would just add 8 pounds to whatever the reading was. The batteries finally wore out so, out with the old...

I was kind of excited about trying out the new scale and getting an accurate read on my weight. That, was my first mistake. My second mistake was actually getting on the scale.

Oh my. That's definitely more than what the number usually is, even with the 8 pound differential.

I hate to admit it. The old scale lied.

This is bad.

How many times have you heard that before?

New year, new me!


How many times have you heard that before?

My resolution for 2011 is not to say that. Instead, my resolution is to rid myself of the excess baggage (physical and otherwise) that I accumulated in 2010. I haven't been on an accurate scale lately, but I do know that I'm buying clothes that are two sizes larger now than what I bought at the beginning of the year.

Stress, access to $3.21 breakfasts and lunches at McDonald's, exercise limited to what it took to fold laundry, vacuum, do the dishes or walk to the car, nightly glasses of wine replacing daily cigarettes. All of these things and more have contributed to the rear end as big as Alaska and double chin that are mine.

My mother, on the other hand, has lost over 50 pounds since July. And exercise isn't a part of her lifestyle. She merely changed her eating habits.

That's what's done it for me. I will not weigh more than my mother!

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to change one eating habit at a time. I'm starting with replacing pop with water and only having one cup of coffee a day. And I'm cutting out McDonald's. Believe it or not, that's the tough one. Double cheeseburgers are my downfall. I'm going to do that for three weeks and then add another change.

My short-term goal is to lose 30 pounds by December 31, 2011. My long-term goal is to lose and keep off 120 pounds. We'll start with baby steps.


Happy new year!