Yesterday, I attended a memorial service for a friend/colleague/mentor/supporter, in essence a wonderful woman. She was 57 when she succumbed to cancer. Too young.
Her memorial service was unlike any other I've attended. It was truly a celebration. It was held in an art gallery, celebrating her love of fine art. A youth choir performed, celebrating her love of music. Young women from a local arts school performed an interpretive dance, celebrating her love of watching kids express themselves through dance. The room was full of people sharing stories, talking about the last time they saw her, how they found out, that they couldn't believe she was gone. They laughed, talked, networked. She wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Her son spoke about her last months, looked at each of us, and said that because she touched each of our lives, she lives on through us. That meant that we are his mother now. Oh sure, tears fell at that point, but there was also a call to responsibility. We are what she left behind to carry on her passions, her beliefs, her work. We are her legacy.
Who or what is your legacy? For whom are you the legacy?
Update: Still at 20 pounds give or take a couple. Still have high blood pressure, but hopefully, a check on Thursday will show I'm back to normal.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Happy birthday to me
"Another year has passed me by. Still I look at myself and sigh. What kind of man have I become?"
In less than four hours, I will be another year older. More often, birthdays are contemplative times for me. My conscience compels me to examine where I am, who I am, and what I'm doing on a much deeper level than I normally do.
I made a HUGE lifestyle change three years ago. I left my well-paying career, quit smoking, and sacrificed my pursuit of luxury in order to be an "at-home-mom" and become a more faceted person. I wanted the richness in my life to be represented by family, friendship, love, community and spirit.
No, it hasn't been easy and, no matter how detailed the plan, things have not always worked out the way I thought they would.
But, my children know that I love them, not because I buy them something every time we go into a store. They know I love them because I am there for them. Every minute. Every day. And they show me that's important to them. I wouldn't trade that for all the money in the world.
I think this year, I'm giving myself a solid B.
Oh by the way, I have not resumed my "faster than a speeding bullet" weight loss medication. Still have high blood pressure. However, I lost an additional five pounds which brings me to 20 in six weeks.
"Live long and prosper. Peace and long life."
In less than four hours, I will be another year older. More often, birthdays are contemplative times for me. My conscience compels me to examine where I am, who I am, and what I'm doing on a much deeper level than I normally do.
I made a HUGE lifestyle change three years ago. I left my well-paying career, quit smoking, and sacrificed my pursuit of luxury in order to be an "at-home-mom" and become a more faceted person. I wanted the richness in my life to be represented by family, friendship, love, community and spirit.
No, it hasn't been easy and, no matter how detailed the plan, things have not always worked out the way I thought they would.
But, my children know that I love them, not because I buy them something every time we go into a store. They know I love them because I am there for them. Every minute. Every day. And they show me that's important to them. I wouldn't trade that for all the money in the world.
I think this year, I'm giving myself a solid B.
Oh by the way, I have not resumed my "faster than a speeding bullet" weight loss medication. Still have high blood pressure. However, I lost an additional five pounds which brings me to 20 in six weeks.
"Live long and prosper. Peace and long life."
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Anyone Can Cook
I have only made soup twice using someone else's recipe and failed miserably at it. I've never made a broth based soup. Yet, I really had a taste for Chicken Tortilla Soup and was determined to make it. Sans the tortilla. I found a recipe on line and (greatly) adapted it using only the ingredients I like.
The result? A surprisingly (for me) delicious chicken & rice soup loaded with "south of the border" flavor and heat.
Below is the recipe for my Mexican Chicken & Rice Soup. I used a slow cooker.
Ingredients:
1/2 lb shredded grilled chicken
1 can Ro*tel diced tomatoes with green chilies
32 oz all-natural chicken stock (I used Rachel Ray Stock-In-A-Box)
2 cups water
1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
1/2 yellow bell pepper, chopped
2 scallions, chopped
1 cup uncooked white rice
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
Place all ingredients in a slow cooker. Cover and cook on Low for 6-7 hours.
Enjoy!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
That's what Moms are for
"It was like coming this close to your dreams, and then watching them brush past you like a stranger in a crowd."
Admittedly, the past couple of days have been pretty tough. After 15+ years of trying to lose weight, only to gain, I had hope that my ship had come in. I had a plan to lose the weight and was doing it. It felt fantastic! I began to dream about being a size 10 again and it was as real as it could be. But, that ship has sailed.
To be sure, I'd consider myself pretty vain if that was the ONLY thing that has me distressed. It's not. It's the latest in a LONG line of recent things to which I've given 150% of my effort and attention, only to result in something much less than what I had hoped.
"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." Indeed, it can.
However, my mom did the thing that all good moms do. She dragged my butt to the gym. We talked to her personal trainer and learned about some different types of foods and eating plans, and then she drove me to Au Naturel Market in Valparaiso. We purchased some of the things the trainer recommended, like low-calorie gluten-free Pop Chips, gluten-free cereal and quinoa flour.
She also convinced me that I need to cook for myself. That in itself is enough to make me not want to eat, but it makes sense. My husband (who is THE cook in the family) can still prepare menus and meals for himself and the kids, but I will have control over what and how much is on my plate. And he won't need to cook twice. Tomorrow, I'm making chicken soup.
And, in two weeks, after I deal with this high-blood pressure thing, I'll talk with my doctor again. Maybe we reduce the dosage, maybe we'll try something different, maybe that's all there was to begin with.
In the meantime, I'm going to listen to Mom and do something I've never done before. I'm going to learn how to cook for myself.
Wish me luck!
Admittedly, the past couple of days have been pretty tough. After 15+ years of trying to lose weight, only to gain, I had hope that my ship had come in. I had a plan to lose the weight and was doing it. It felt fantastic! I began to dream about being a size 10 again and it was as real as it could be. But, that ship has sailed.
To be sure, I'd consider myself pretty vain if that was the ONLY thing that has me distressed. It's not. It's the latest in a LONG line of recent things to which I've given 150% of my effort and attention, only to result in something much less than what I had hoped.
"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." Indeed, it can.
However, my mom did the thing that all good moms do. She dragged my butt to the gym. We talked to her personal trainer and learned about some different types of foods and eating plans, and then she drove me to Au Naturel Market in Valparaiso. We purchased some of the things the trainer recommended, like low-calorie gluten-free Pop Chips, gluten-free cereal and quinoa flour.
She also convinced me that I need to cook for myself. That in itself is enough to make me not want to eat, but it makes sense. My husband (who is THE cook in the family) can still prepare menus and meals for himself and the kids, but I will have control over what and how much is on my plate. And he won't need to cook twice. Tomorrow, I'm making chicken soup.
And, in two weeks, after I deal with this high-blood pressure thing, I'll talk with my doctor again. Maybe we reduce the dosage, maybe we'll try something different, maybe that's all there was to begin with.
In the meantime, I'm going to listen to Mom and do something I've never done before. I'm going to learn how to cook for myself.
Wish me luck!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
It's not fair
I lost 15 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. Yep. 15 pounds. When I crossed the 10 pound mark, I knew that I was finally going to do it. I found the thing that works! I was finally going to lose the weight!
I've been trying to lose the weight my entire adult life. Weight Watchers. Jenny Craig. Richard Simmons. Total Body Makeover. Atkins. Exercise DVDs. Yoga. Health club memberships. Walking. Eating less. Drinking water. Nothing I did took off the weight.
Finally, I decided to work with a doctor and was seeing amazing results. I had hope!
Now, I have high blood pressure. One of the things I was trying to avoid by losing the weight. Ironic, isn't it? It's one of the side effects of the medication. And now I can't take it.
I did this to live longer, to be healthier, to be pretty again. It's not fair. It's just not fair.
Honey, where are the brownies?
I've been trying to lose the weight my entire adult life. Weight Watchers. Jenny Craig. Richard Simmons. Total Body Makeover. Atkins. Exercise DVDs. Yoga. Health club memberships. Walking. Eating less. Drinking water. Nothing I did took off the weight.
Finally, I decided to work with a doctor and was seeing amazing results. I had hope!
Now, I have high blood pressure. One of the things I was trying to avoid by losing the weight. Ironic, isn't it? It's one of the side effects of the medication. And now I can't take it.
I did this to live longer, to be healthier, to be pretty again. It's not fair. It's just not fair.
Honey, where are the brownies?
Friday, July 29, 2011
Whatever works
I love getting on the scale this week. I'm a fanatic. I weigh myself at least once a day, because I can't believe what I see! I lost 7 pounds. 7 pounds in 7 days!
I am hardly ever hungry and when I am, I eat about 1/4 of what I used to. I'm staying away from sweets, no matter how often hubs offers me a chocolate turtle or M&Ms. (Still not sure who's side he's on.) I'm drinking a lot of water and I exercised 4 times this week. I must admit, my little helper is making a big difference.
93 pounds to go.
Whatever works.
I am hardly ever hungry and when I am, I eat about 1/4 of what I used to. I'm staying away from sweets, no matter how often hubs offers me a chocolate turtle or M&Ms. (Still not sure who's side he's on.) I'm drinking a lot of water and I exercised 4 times this week. I must admit, my little helper is making a big difference.
93 pounds to go.
Whatever works.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
My family's heart disease helped! Who knew?!
About a month ago, I attended a Women's Forum, hosted by the Porter County Community Foundation. The Forum was health-centric and our local hospital provided free screenings for blood pressure, cholesterol, bone density, etc. Since I never go to the doctor for anything other than pregnancy, I thought "why not do the screenings? As long as I'm here." Now, I have been overweight my entire adult life, the gene pool on both sides of my family includes chronic heart disease and I'm a former smoker. I had a pretty strong feeling that my ticker and things associated with it were not in the best of shape. It turns out that I was wrong! My initial screenings were so good that the next day I had a whole blood screening done. And that one was good too! So, my heart is in good shape...for now. What can I do to keep it that way? Lose the weight!!! I am healthy and want to stay that way. I need help. I need a DOCTOR.
Prior to my appointment, I did a little research on weight loss medications. I'm not really a fan of taking medication for myself. I would rather employ proven natural or herbal treatments for anything. I barely take aspirin for a headache. But, in this case, I know what I have done and I know it hasn't worked. The articles I read stated that weight-loss medication is prescribed for individuals who are clinically obese AND have a serious health problem like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. That's not me. I'm just overweight.
Prepared for the usual "let's do some blood work, but all you really need to do is burn more calories that you consume", I sat down and started talking to the doctor. She really surprised me. She listened, which is practically a first. She also took my family's heart history very seriously, that's also a first. And because of the family's heart issues, she recommended and prescribed a weight-loss medication for me. YAY!!! I finally have help! I am so excited!!!!
My long-term goal is to lose and keep off 100 pounds. My short-term goal is to lose enough weight that I can comfortably sit in an airplane seat for a trip I hope to take in February.
Got a lo-cal Diet? check. Got Exercise? check. Got Mama's little helper? CHECK!
Let's lose it!
Prior to my appointment, I did a little research on weight loss medications. I'm not really a fan of taking medication for myself. I would rather employ proven natural or herbal treatments for anything. I barely take aspirin for a headache. But, in this case, I know what I have done and I know it hasn't worked. The articles I read stated that weight-loss medication is prescribed for individuals who are clinically obese AND have a serious health problem like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. That's not me. I'm just overweight.
Prepared for the usual "let's do some blood work, but all you really need to do is burn more calories that you consume", I sat down and started talking to the doctor. She really surprised me. She listened, which is practically a first. She also took my family's heart history very seriously, that's also a first. And because of the family's heart issues, she recommended and prescribed a weight-loss medication for me. YAY!!! I finally have help! I am so excited!!!!
My long-term goal is to lose and keep off 100 pounds. My short-term goal is to lose enough weight that I can comfortably sit in an airplane seat for a trip I hope to take in February.
Got a lo-cal Diet? check. Got Exercise? check. Got Mama's little helper? CHECK!
Let's lose it!
Monday, July 11, 2011
THE DOCTOR
So, the last time I wrote a post for this blog was January 3rd. I'm proud to say that with the help of the calorie tracker on livestrong.com, I lost 10 pounds in January. And that's it. 10 pounds. 10 pounds that I promptly gained back. I haven't lost another ounce all year.
Not to say that I haven't tried. I have a part-time job that keeps me outside walking in all kinds of weather two-three times a week. I walk at least a couple of miles a day doing that. And, I exercise at the health club two to three times a week on top of it. I barely drink coffee and pop. I rarely eat fast food and my sweet consumption is moderate at best. I can't remember the last time I ate something that was fried. My eating and exercise habits are better than ever. I should be losing weight left and right. And yet, the dial on the scale doesn't move.
So what's the problem? Don't know, maybe nothing more than I need to do something differently. What I do know is that it's time to seek professional answers. I need to lose at least 80 pounds and "diet & exercise" alone isn't cutting it. I'm going to THE DOCTOR next week. This is a big deal, because I don't go to THE DOCTOR. I've lived here almost six years and I don't have a DOCTOR. In fact, I haven't had a DOCTOR since I was a kid. My kids, yes. My husband, certainly. Me, nope. Never sick. Wait, I did go to urgent care five years ago because I had sinus infection that lasted a month. But, other than that...
I hope that THE DOCTOR will prescribe a new miracle drug that will instantly melt away the pounds returning me to my pre-wedded hotness. It could happen...right?
Not to say that I haven't tried. I have a part-time job that keeps me outside walking in all kinds of weather two-three times a week. I walk at least a couple of miles a day doing that. And, I exercise at the health club two to three times a week on top of it. I barely drink coffee and pop. I rarely eat fast food and my sweet consumption is moderate at best. I can't remember the last time I ate something that was fried. My eating and exercise habits are better than ever. I should be losing weight left and right. And yet, the dial on the scale doesn't move.
So what's the problem? Don't know, maybe nothing more than I need to do something differently. What I do know is that it's time to seek professional answers. I need to lose at least 80 pounds and "diet & exercise" alone isn't cutting it. I'm going to THE DOCTOR next week. This is a big deal, because I don't go to THE DOCTOR. I've lived here almost six years and I don't have a DOCTOR. In fact, I haven't had a DOCTOR since I was a kid. My kids, yes. My husband, certainly. Me, nope. Never sick. Wait, I did go to urgent care five years ago because I had sinus infection that lasted a month. But, other than that...
I hope that THE DOCTOR will prescribe a new miracle drug that will instantly melt away the pounds returning me to my pre-wedded hotness. It could happen...right?
Monday, January 3, 2011
The scale lies
Well, one of the scales does!
I bought a new scale today. It's an old-fashioned dial scale. We had a digital scale for a long time, but for the last few years, I haven't been all that confident in its readings. Based on other scales I've tried, I was pretty sure that the digital scale was around 8 pounds off. So, I would just add 8 pounds to whatever the reading was. The batteries finally wore out so, out with the old...
I was kind of excited about trying out the new scale and getting an accurate read on my weight. That, was my first mistake. My second mistake was actually getting on the scale.
Oh my. That's definitely more than what the number usually is, even with the 8 pound differential.
I hate to admit it. The old scale lied.
This is bad.
I bought a new scale today. It's an old-fashioned dial scale. We had a digital scale for a long time, but for the last few years, I haven't been all that confident in its readings. Based on other scales I've tried, I was pretty sure that the digital scale was around 8 pounds off. So, I would just add 8 pounds to whatever the reading was. The batteries finally wore out so, out with the old...
I was kind of excited about trying out the new scale and getting an accurate read on my weight. That, was my first mistake. My second mistake was actually getting on the scale.
Oh my. That's definitely more than what the number usually is, even with the 8 pound differential.
I hate to admit it. The old scale lied.
This is bad.
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